After the Wedding, When to get pregnant?

mrsctobe  Personally I wouldn't want to get pregnant so soon after getting married as you and h2b will take time to get used to being husband and wife and they say the first few years of marriage are the hardest to survive, I think a baby would complicate things. To be fair though me and h2b have never lived together, we'll be moving in together shortly after Christmas, so we plan on spending a good couple of years as us, doing what young couples do and experiencing things we've not yet experienced but that having a baby could hinder, such as travelling or going out on a whim. I think every couple is different though, it depends on how you both feel and how much time, if any, you will need as a couple, to settle into being Mr and Mrs xx

naomi27  hey emma. i am already a mum of 2 i have 2 boys jordan is four and zane is 2. me and my h2b are getting married in august next year and we are going to try for one more baby on our wedding night. i think if you have been togeather for a while and liveing togeather pretty much as husband and wife and have a family it dosent really matter how soon you try. the only thing thats changed is your name. its up to you really what you decide. it will be nice to say to your child that they were made on mummy and daddys wedding night. :o) what ever you decide will be right for you guys. like said above you might want to enjoy each other for a while first. to be honest my mum and dad got married five years ago after being togeather 18 years. they met just after my mum had me and even with me they still had time togeather and went on holidays etc. and when i ask them if it feels diffrent being married they just smile and say no its as it as always been, apart from im his wife and hes my husband. hope that helps xxx

lexxielou  @emma82517 We're getting married a month after you & we plan to start trying for a baby so soon as we're married! We have lived together for about 2 years now and bought our first home together last November. We both love kids and have wanted to start trying for a while but decided to wait till we're married. I dont think it matters when you start trying as long as you are both ready and have a home together.

Good luck on what ever you decide to do xx

elodiesmummy  All depends really.
Have you lived together before?
Do you want to travel?
Etc Etc

We have a 1 year old that was planned before we even thought of marriage. Family was more important to us. Babies are Expensive too, so you need to have the money.
Also don't get your hopes up too much that you will be pregnant in a few months of being married. We are a completely healthy couple and it took us 2 years and 6 losses before we got our daughter, It may be a while before you're a mummy as well as a wife. Or you could be one of the lucky ones and get pregnant on the first try lol.

Good Luck & Baby Dust what ever you decide xxx

emma82517  We've lived together for the past two years but we're only renting a house, my cousin thinks we should try after we have brought our own house as the properly ladder is hard to get onto. I also just qualified as a nurse and don't know whether to complete my degree first. On the other hand I don't want to wait too long as I have been advised by others that it's better to have them young and I don't want to happen to me what happened to another family member where they became infertile young xxx

sophie2bgillies  I personally want to wait a few years before thinking of children. I really want to have a few years more just the two of us after we're married, enjoy the freedom before starting a family even though we are excited to have children in the future. I would like to be settled and secure first I think.
@emma82517 I'm not sure how long your degree is but i think it would be best to complete it first as you may not feel up to it with a young child! You know yourself better so I would do what feels right for you and your h2b xx

clairemugford  well i am extrememly broody now but i know i wont start trying for a baby until after we r married
we r getting married in aug next year and then going to australia in the feb the year after so thats all about 18 months away
so we wont be trying for a baby for at least 18 months and then baby after that hopefully
we also want to move into a house between the wedding n honeymoon too as we in a flat at the moment xx

emma82517  My degree shouldn't take long as the points I got in my diploma go towards it, I'm ok with academic work though it just depends on if it's better to get it out the way before, Thank you all for your answers, It's good to hear the different opinions xxx

dinzinelli  @emma82517 Hi hun, I would definately try to complete your degree first, as you dont know what will happen after having kids. I fell pregnant with my first son during my degree and although I said I would go back and finish it, 4 years later I still haven't had the time or the money. We have also had another son so my prioritys are very different than they were when I was a student. In regards to how soon after getting married I honestly dont think it matters, if you both feel ready then its the right time. xx

bluemadcow21  @emma82517 , A degree won't make you a better nurse hun I've been qualified 5 years and seen people leap the ladder cause there certificates but still make basic errors and often have big heads cause of their ignorance of real world and life experience , I prefer to be knowledgeable through experience you can gain your degree by taking a module at a time , there's no rush xx

loz2879  @emma82517 Hi there!! i am trying for a baby straight after wedding!! we have been together 9 years and lived together for 6 years so we are well ready!! youw ill knwo if you are ready for a baby or not and if you both want it then why not?? Also i am a qualified nurse like you!!! have you started your degree? i opted todo full degree in nursing as opposed to diploma but my friend like you is doing the degree whilst working after the diploma, as its nursing degree it can be picked up here an there as long as you complete within 5 years of starting it!! so if you get say get the first 3 modules done of your degree, you will keep your ucas points and if you do courses such as student mentorship, Degree level and short courses for your branch at uni I.e. ive just done CBT for mental health the ucas points can be added and you can complete degree this way rather than one full 3 year course if that makes sense? there are more and more oppurtunities in nursing now so dont let studying hold you back as its easy to get back into as all universitiies and employers should allow uo to one year break from studying! well they do my area, so check yours!!!
All the best for your degree hun xxxx

emma82517  Thank you ... I really want to get my degree out the way now, I only work part time because that was the only hours availiable in my post, I really want to do my degree now as I only work two days a week and can't do bank work because I am newly qualified, but that's also the reason that my boss doesn't want me to do my degree just yet. I really want to get my qualification out the way now that I have the time to especially as the goverment is moving to degree. My fiance is a teacher and has a nursery at the school so if I have to work I have someone to look after my baby for a few hours a day if I have to work, it's just my career and the fact that we haven't brought a house yet that worries me. We'd love to start a family soon after we're married but I also want to have a secure job xxx

littlemissshowoff  We're planning on waiting for a while before we try for a baby, mainly because I want to be sure I can afford to take a full year off work without panicking about how to pay the mortgage. But it totally depends on yourself. I have a friend who got pregnant on her honeymoon and she's loving having a baby already. If you think you can manage with your degree and you feel ready for a family, go for it. xx

missmaxine  technically ive been trying for the last year, prob a bit too soon lol but oh well. the only thing i have a problem with is the fact ive not been using protection for so long and ive not had anything, but having said that ive only had 5 periods in my life :S 3 since june the rest were back when i was 15. ahhhhh sooo annoying, so "baby dust" wont work for me lol. i could have a really long wait :( and i dont wanna but i have to i spose.

lindsay212  This has been a big question in our relationship as my h2b has two children from his previous marriage and we have them every other weekend and i cant wait till we have our own but were thinking of leaving it a while and enjoying time togeteher as mr and mrs also paying for the weddig and getting that out of the wat first, i think that is all great then i read bits on here that get me really confused lol i cant wait to have a family but there are things stopping us right away but also i dont want to be old to have a family or my h2b as he moans now he is getting old lol also its not knowing how long it will take u to fall as it has taken my sister 18 months and my mum said it took her a while so i dont want to wait and then start to try and it takes more time, im so confused about the whole situation but my h2b wants to wait but he doesnt understand as he has his children and i dont want him to change his mind in the future that he doesnt want children with me coz he is too old or something silly like that, sorry to go on lol x

essex_bride  @emma82517 From personal experience I think you may want to consider completing your degree first, I have always wanted to be a nurse since I was a little girl and I was training to do so but balancing university, placements and assignments and having a two / three year old son at the time was just impossible and after completing 19months of the course I had to defer from it. It was impossible to do it all and I was just missing too much of my son growing up. Luckily I was in the position to do this as my fiance has his own web development company and I now work for him but trying to balance it all was just too much for me. You are still young at 22 and you say that you want to get onto the property ladder so maybe it will be better to wait until you have completed your degree and done this and you are settled and then start trying xx

mizza1987  i'm a nurse too........... its not all about the degree - there are lots of nurses without degrees and it doesn't make them less of a nurse. also, i work in ITU so could do my ITU degree but i'm leaving because after 2 years i've realised ITU isn't what i want to do anymore so i'm going to A&E and could do my degree in A&E but again could decide that thats not for me and move on!!! at the end of the day, the degree option will still be there whatever you decide to do! xxx

emma82517  Thank you everyone for your advice, I'm really grateful ... I'm still not sure what to do but I guess I have a few months left to have a good think about it xxx

ourbigday  @emma82517, personallly I think if you are not sure then you are not ready or it is not the right time. I know that we will struggle financially when we have a baby and that I will have to temporarily leave a job I love, I may even have to leave it forever as not sure how a baby will fit around it. But I am willing to do all of that because we feel the time is right to have a baby. That having been said, I am also 8 years older than you which makes a difference too. x

meeeshel  @emma82517 personally i think you might be better to wait until you've bought somewhere together if that's what you plan to do....buying your first place is very expensive and the last thing you want is to have a child then try and get a place and struggle with both the cost of buying and the cost of children! I wouldn't worry about fertility, i've worried about that but there are no guarantees about fertility whether your 18 or 40 so you can't plan your life around that, you don't know what will happen. I also don't really agree with the advice you've been given that it's "better to have them young", it really depends on your personal circumstances; for some people it's perfect to have them young, and enjoy starting their family early, but others may want to enjoy being with each other and seeing the world before having children. My sis had 2 at 34 and 36 and was perfectly healthy, the kids are perfectly healthy and they've made sure they're in a great financial position to provide everything they need for their children. Don't get me wrong, i don't think you have to have loads of money to have kids as my parents had nothing and we were all (6 of us!) very happy but i know i'd rather wait and not have the stress of money that my parents did if i can help it.

hope that helps and good luck in your decisions!

xx

emma82517   I would love to have one but it's just difficult trying to work out if it's going to be the right time. I would have maternity leave which would be paid from work, when I go back I only would only work part time. My htb is a teacher and the school provide a nursery with a discount for those who work there so even if I do have to work on the same day he does he'll be close by. It may also get to the point next year that we could afford a place of our own but it's not guaranteed as yet. I guess the main thing is just work, weather I should have more than just over a years experience in a new job at the earliest point I could have a baby, but then I don't want to wait too long ...
Thank you all so much for your advice xxx

hani85  i personally cant wait to get pregnant. currently working full time as a nurse and studying for masters part time. so most likely will be pregnant whilst am studying my masters and working. which will be a challgenge but i want a family so much so its worth all the stress that am going to be under. H2B wanted to start trying before wedding but didnt want to be a pregnant bride or have pregnancy ontop of working studying and wedding planning.
think you have to decide what you want most. me personally babies are more important than anything and cant wait.

aisling  We'll be trying from the wedding night but we're in a different situation, I turn 35 in March, Sam is 28, we're getting married in Sept. We want a family and have to start soon because of my age.
My h2b is just about to qualify as a nurse and I'm a librarian, we rent a house at the mo, would like to buy but can't really afford it for a while, a family is more important to us.
You're young, you have time to wait and enjoy being together and sort out your career first but it's your decision, try to work out what's important to you both!

mrsking2b  @emma82517 Hi Emma

I get married 2 weeks after you and H2B and I are going to start trying for a baby in April this year (before the wedding). We can't wait to start a family and, the sooner I get pregnant the better as far as we're both concerned.

I think that you know when the time's right for you and if that means on your wedding night then you should go for it hun xx

emma82517  awww thank you ... I think we're going to wait for a bit, but we'll see what happens xxx

clairemugford  i am also doing a degree which i started today which is due to take 2 years so that will be Jan 2013!! So maybe after that or getting preg while I am near the end of finishing. I would love to be able to tell Ben I was pregnant on Christmas morning xx

clareandjason2012  think with us it will happen whenever it will happen, ill turn 31 the day after our wedding and H2B will be 36 then, we want to get in our own home, settled and married before our thoughts turn to children (our mothers are thinking of that already and hinting but they know were doing things the way we want and respect that ) think though at first we will just enjoy being husband and wife and some time as a married couple before we think of becoming parents, but know H2B wil be a great dad as he is good with his nephew and neices (well mine too hes now saying called me auntie clare to his nephew for the first time tonight felt wonderful ) xxx

wenna84  Im hoping to start trying on our honeymoon. x I think everyone is different and you know when is right for you.

jen150912  I want to be qualified first - as much as I would love to be a mum sooner rather than later, my priority is getting my qualification (Accountant lol!) and earning some good money before I take a year off on Mat leave. After wedding we want to pay off the money we're borrowing to pay for it, move to a bigger house and enjoy married life for a bit. I reckon I'll be mid to late 30s by the time I have a babba, but we'll be in a better place financially to support him/her as I'll be earning more than H2B... x

leannanatalie  I'm going to wait until I'm fully qualified before trying for a baby. If i had a baby before that i don't think i'd pass my course. lol.
Also, i would quite like to have at least a year of being a married couple before we add to the equasion. You'll never have that time together again after having the baby until you're old :p lol
xx