Best man and his family may not be at reception, am I over reacting?

15 Jan 2012 • • Like

girlie180	Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 11 March 2011 Added 98 forum messages. Staffordshire.

Hi Girls, I need your honest opinion to this or is it just me flying off the handle a bit............. We have had a problem which has arose today with my H2B brother who is also Best Man, his wife & his son who will be 22 months at the wedding who is a pageboy.

Since we have been arranging the wedding they have both said that Pageboy will be picked up after the church with him being so young and plus he goes to bed at 6.30pm.

Today we told everyone that the hotel rooms have been booked and paid for after they knew we was booking the rooms this month (we got a special rate if we booked 8 rooms in one go) to be told that they need a family room as Jack is going to be there all day and night....... Now it doesn't matter about him coming to the meal but if they are insisting that he goes to bed at 6.30 ( they have never broken this rule since he has been born) then my SIL2b or the Best Man will not be at our reception.......

Are we being selfish for thinking that this is out of order.... We have tried to be reasonable and say how about the other set of grandparents pick him up after the meal so you can both let your hair down (they don't have a problem with him stopping there as they have done this on plenty of other occasions). They have now had a row over it and H2B Brother is threatening not to come...............

Sorry just need to see other peoples point of view......

15 Jan at 15:10 • Reply • Like

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mrsthompsontobe (25 years old)	Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 6 February 2011 Added 118 forum messages and one album. Long Load, Langport, Somerset. The wedding was on 28 April 2012 Martock, Somerset

@girlie180 I think you're totally within in your rights to be annoyed hun. Not only is it your h2b's brother but he's best man too, will look very odd if he's not there in the evening! I'd be pissed off if our best man or brothers didn't stay until the very end. However, don't let it ruin everything for you. I consider myself to be quite a thoughtful person and always thinking of how others will feel but not everyone is like that and they probably have no idea how this might upset you and annoy you. My h2b is always telling me not to let things like this get to me. Just try to enjoy your day. If they don't stay then it's their loss that they've missed out on a part of your special day. Hope they change their mind for your sake though xxx

15 Jan at 15:47 • Wedding was in April 2012 • Reply • Like

girlie180	Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 11 March 2011 Added 98 forum messages. Staffordshire.

@mrsthompsontobe Thanks Hun, they have now accused us of not wanting him there which is totally untrue, just wish they would of let us know their thoughts instead of being so pig headed and now going off the handle. It's all kicking off now between H2B and H2B Brother..... Don't you just love wedding organising!!!

15 Jan at 15:56 • Reply • Like

mrsthompsontobe (25 years old)	Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 6 February 2011 Added 118 forum messages and one album. Long Load, Langport, Somerset. The wedding was on 28 April 2012 Martock, Somerset

@girlie180 oh sweetheart that is awful. Sounds like they need to start acting like grown-ups! Makes me feel very lucky that my lot are so easy to sort out. x

15 Jan at 16:02 • Wedding was in April 2012 • Reply • Like

joski28	Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 8 January 2011 Added 171 forum messages, one album and one listing. Liverpool, Merseyside.

@girlie180 oh dear, there's nothing worse when it comes to kids bed times. I know it sounds awful but couldn't sil2b take Jack home or upstairs so that the best man could be there for the evening? At my brothers wedding thats what my sisters h2b done for her and I know my sil2b would do with her two kids (her husband is our best man). It would be a shame for her to miss out of course but he is the best man after all. I would do it for my hubby if I were in the same situation x

15 Jan at 16:16 • Reply • Like

girlie180	Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 11 March 2011 Added 98 forum messages. Staffordshire.

@mrsthompsontobe My side of the family are easy it's just H2B side, as H2B made a choice of not inviting some of his cousins for the day as he wanted more of friends who he sees every week there instead. Now H2B Brother has said it's my fault as there are not many of the family going to be there............... I am sick to the back teeth of it now... I now understand with people when they just go abroad on there own.... We said that it must be easier.

15 Jan at 16:19 • Reply • Like

girlie180	Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 11 March 2011 Added 98 forum messages. Staffordshire.

@joski28 I would do the same especially if H2B was Best Man, it wouldn't even enter my head..... but my SIL2B can be hard work......

15 Jan at 16:34 • Reply • Like

missengaged	Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 1 February 2011 Added 566 forum messages and 2 albums. Bedfordshire.

No hun, you're not being selfish at all!! Why can't they just send the little boy to her Mum's for the evening if they are so strict with his bedtime! I, as a mother of 2 also have a routine, literally to the minute but I wouldn't think twice about not being at a wedding, especially my own brothers'!! I think they are being totally ridiculous in all honesty!! It's your wedding day, his brothers and it won't happen again...EVER!! It really won't harm them for one night to keep them little man up, or put him to sleep in his pushchair or better still do what @joski28 has suggested which seem like the normal thing to do!!! Hope they come to their senses hun and just come without making a fuss!! If not, it will be their loss and they will regret it!!x

15 Jan at 18:36 • Reply • Like •

mrssteel2b (26 years old)	Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 3 January 2011 Added 265 forum messages. Aveley, Essex. The wedding was on 8 April 2012 Essex

@girlie180 Maybe they r thinking of letting him stay up this time, now he's a bit older? And if not and SIL2B isnt gonna b there, thats her loss not yours!!! xx

15 Jan at 18:56 • Wedding was in April 2012 • Reply • Like

girlie180	Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 11 March 2011 Added 98 forum messages. Staffordshire.

@missengaged @mrssteel2b I have said this but they are so rigid, plus we are not having any more children on the evening (there will be 3including our nephew in total, we decided to do this so everyone can let there hair down and enjoy themselves, not in a malicious way or anything . He has never been to party before because of his bedtime, so I can't imagine anything changing...
I feel sorry for my H2B more as it could potentially look really strange if the Best Man isn't there on the evening....... It hurts when they say that we don't want him there as that is totally untrue, I mean we have had to search for suits which fit 18-24 months as most of the suit hire shops start from 3 years old... If we was that heartless we would of said we can't hire a suit.
Thanks for the advice and what you think as sometimes you think that you are the strange one....

15 Jan at 19:20 • Reply • Like

katiedarlin	Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 5 September 2010 Added 729 forum messages, 9 albums and 2 listings. Ayrshire.

i dont think you are being ott ....however my MOH had a at the time of my wedding a 6 month old ...she stayed for the meal and then first dance then her parents took it in turns to spend some time in the hotel room with her they both went to put her to be to keep things as normal as possible and as she wasnt feeling too good on the day. .... i have to say i didnt miss them...i was too busy neither am i aware of anyone thinking it was odd they were not there all night. if i looked for her and she wasnt there i knew she was away with the baby ...but it didnt spoil my day i was just glad she had made such a long journey with a small person just to be there for me on my special day.
other guests with children put them in prams or some ( a 2 year old stayed up dancing till midnight. every parent is different.
it sounds like there have been some missunderstandings in the heat of the moment and you need to sit down and explain fisrt of all your concerns and also how the comments have made you feel....it may be more your h2b who needs to do this

16 Jan at 09:11 • Reply • Like •



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