Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 23 June 2011
Added 553 forum messages.
Liverpool, Merseyside.
gina130284
Hi ladies,
Yesterday my H2B and I attended our first wedding fare together and when we got home I was sorting through the hundreds of leaflets and bookets. He said he doesnt feel like he's getting much out of the wedding. I can kind of see where he's coming from. We're getting married abroad with just family so he's missing out on having a best man and the speech. He's not big on jewellery so decided to keep a ring his parents gave him and use that as his wedding ring. So when we go 'ring' shopping its kind of just for me. I've had a few girlie wedding days which involve dress shopping, etc. Of course he'll be getting suited and booted for the big day, and he has helped out immensely (chosen the colour scheme, chosen the cruise wedding and nautical theme). But for things he gets to keep I think he feels a bit hard done by!!
Do you have any ideas on what he can keep from the wedding and preparations, or how he can be even more involved???
Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 19 October 2010
Added 491 forum messages and 2 albums.
Stevenage, Hertfordshire.
mrsctobe
Sometimes h2b's feel a bit left out as a lot of emphasis is put on the bride, not the groom. I would say, be careful describing things, make sure you say 'our' wedding and not 'my' wedding (not saying you do it, but it can happen). Maybe ask him to do things such as research into where you are going or what activities you can do when you are there, maybe have him decide on the cake, or the entertainment. I've been lucky, as my h2b has wanted to be really involved all the way along, and he has been. I would suggest, maybe get him a gift, a permanent reminder of the day, as a surprise, that he's not expecting - a pocket watch, a chain, a locket, something that he can keep as a memento. Maybe ask someone who is coming to be his best man and make sure he gets a great stag do. Just a few ideas, not fully aware of your situation, but hopefully some of these will help xx
Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 23 June 2011
Added 553 forum messages.
Liverpool, Merseyside.
gina130284@mrsctobe Thanks hun. We were hoping to ask our brothers to be 'witnesses' so they felt involved but have since found out we dont require witnesses so no-one other than us signs the register. I think it really feels like there's no best man now.
He did want a watch and I was going to put money towards it but it was ridiculously expensive (£4,500 which we cant really afford). He's chosen a different one now which is more affordable which I can put money towards.
We chose the band together and I know he'll have a massive part in choosing the cake.
Researching the activities is a great idea though, because there are so many to do in each place were going to visit.
Thanks chick x
Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 9 February 2011
Added 1312 forum messages, 13 albums and 5 articles.
Do not know when the wedding will be
boycee@gina130284 sounds like your husband to be is really involved but there are less elements connected to him, e.g. best man. But, maybe whether you need a bestman or not, you could get one as a symbol and a way to include husband to be more. Once he has fellow friends to chat with about wedding, it might help. The gift idea is also a lovely idea - and it doesn't have to cost a lot - I've read about girls putting like a wedding box together and putting in silly small things like toys or something that reminds you of husband to be - photos of you two - just to remind him how you appreciate how supportive he's been - and the surprise element is great too
Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 23 June 2011
Added 553 forum messages.
Liverpool, Merseyside.
gina130284@klt02 We decided to get married onboard a cruise in the Caribbean and although it isnt expensive, it is alot of money to pay. We chose our best friends as MOH & BM, but they're getting married in March next year, also getting a 2 storey expension on their house so its an expensive time for them and dont thnk they'll afford to come.
He's found a watch cheaper in USA and he has family who live there. He's considering buying it and having it delivered to their home. Then when they meet us before we board the ship he can hand it over, so I wouldnt have time to have it engraved before we went. We've considered having our rings engraved but wanted to leave it until we were actually married (incase we couldnt get married on our chosen day due to bad weather and the rings ended up with the wrong dates on haha).
@boycee I think I'll start putting together a box of memories from our relationship, engagement and wedding planning for him. He did start looking at rings lastnight so maybe he's deciding he wants one too. I think its something tangable he wants from it all. I did say he needs to stop wearing his ring now though so it feels more special on our wedding day. I alo noticed a few girls are getting the boudoir photos done - maybe I could look into that too.
Member of finalstitch.co.uk since 5 March 2011
Added 373 forum messages and one listing.
Dewsbury, West Yorkshire, West Yorkshire.
Wedding will be on 20 June 2012 Ceremony: Dewsbury, reception: Lajosmizse, Hungary
cicmatag@gina130284 I think the website is a great idea, it will keep family & friends informed and up to date, saving you a lot of hassle and questions from everyone. Plus everyone who can't be there will also feel involved, and it will keep your H2B busy for months, even after the wedding (uploading photos, summary of the wedding etc.).
He could also pick (or help you pick) a few of your accessories (lingerie, jewellery, garter etc. if you're having these).
13 Sept 2011 at 19:02
• Wedding will be in June 2012
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