Should I uninvite a wedding guest?

pinkladielouise  uninvite her !!! that is soooo very rude!!!

raewright  I would uninvited her. You really don't need people like this woman upsetting you on your wedding day.

melissarose  uninvite her and say it stays that way unless she apologises! what an inconsiderate person-particularly when she has children of her own! With it being YOUR wedding day your daughter may very well cope just fine, particuarly if you have included her in the planning and speak daily to her about the big day and what is going to happen she will know what to expect, routine that kind of thing. Even if your daughter does become a little unsettled it will never ruin your day, simply take some time out to let her have some space and im sure members of your family and friends who know/understand how certain situations can unsettle her will support you and maybe take her for some 'time out' from the hustle and bustle of it all. Tell the lady from your h2b's family how it is and get on with enjoying your gorgeous family and putting the final touches to your special day....it'll be her loss at the end of the day, not yours!! x

darbyshire05  defo uninvite her love, i have worked with autism children for a number of years and some have alot of signs of the learning disability and some dont but that does not make them any different to other children and i think she needs a reality check myself, i would be so angry too and she should be down on her knees begging for you to forgive for what she said about your gorgeous girl dont let her ruin you big day and am sure courtney will enjoy being a lflowergirl and all the attention she will get, emma is so looking forward to it and she shouldnt be any different.. makes me mad when you get people like that. hope your ok love, chin up..xx

cicmatag  OMG how rude, this woman needs a good shaking. Her ignorance is unbelievable, it was way out of order.
As you said it is your wedding day and the chance is, your daughter will cope much better as you have prepared her for it, she has a beautiful outfit and there will be plenty of family and friends she knows so fingers crossed she will be OK.
I would definitely uninvite this woman, considering you are still waiting for an apology so clearly she doesn't think she said anything wrong. Plus, if anything does happen, you don't want the eye-rolling and snotty "I told you so" comments from her.
This is your and h2b's and children's big day, you only want people who love and support you to be there.
Big hugs x

kirstydoll3  @midz wot an evil cow sayin that! Take no notice of her and unless she apologises I wudn't invite her. She is bang out of order & clearly doesn't know what shes talkin about! x

jen_kristin  @midz i think its very easy for people on here to say, univite her, but we dont know what kind of friendship you have. this might be the first slip up she's made. I'm a teacher and so I understand that autism is a very misunderstood disability and like you said comes in many different forms. Some people dont think before they open their mouths, so you have every right to want an apology, but i would ask for one before you uninvte her. She may feel awful for what she said. If she refuses then yes i would kick her off the guest list.

loz2879  @midz whether Courtney has a melt down on your big day or not is not the problem, she is your daughter who you adore and she deserves to spend your big day with you she will love it!! the ignorance of the member of family saying you should not invite your own daughter, the person saying you cant invite them is obiviously uneducated!
If it helps my paigeboy/nephew is Autistic and am i worried what people think? NO!! he is my nephew and my paigeboy and he will walk up the isle with his Dr who bear holding our wedding rings! yes it may be slightly different and not the normal way of doing things but it makes our day special!!
ys my nephew may have a tantrum and buy does he blow!lol but im prepared for this and will deal with it on the day!
stop worrying what people think! its your day, your child and youd o what you want! if they dont like it then tell em not to bother coming xxx

jenbridetobe  Tell her to stop being so narrow minded and demand an apology! How ignorant can people be? Id tell her where to go and not bother with her again. If you child has a disablilty or not what gives her the right to pass a comment like that anyway. Keep your chin up chick and dont worry im sure you will have the day of your dreams xxx
@midz

mum_of1  @midz i have to agree we every1 else babe she should defo apologise, some people are soooo ignorant! If she does or doesnt apologise i would still uninvite her as like some one said on here she may just comment on ur weddin day again so it will be her ruinin the day! I cant believe she said about her weddin i would of been so chuffed that u n ur family came to the reception. Courtney looks bloody gorgeous in her dress and like u say whether she has a good day or bad u and ur husband want her there. I bet she soo excited bless her. Dont let this family member get to u hun they not worth it xxxx BIG HUGS am always here if need talk xx

midz  @mum_of1 @jenbridetobe @loz2879 @jen_kristin @kirstydoll3 @cicmatag @darbyshire05 @melissarose
@raewright @pinkladielouise
Thank you Ladies for all of your lovely replies you are all very supportive. I have spoken to MIL this morning and she has already told her she isn't coming - apparently after I walked out the argument continued and more things were said on both sides. My MIL also shoved a leaflet explaining more about autism in this ignorant womans hand as she left the house - which she has now read.
The husband of this lady phoned me very late last night to say she was very upset and didn't realise some of the effects autism has on our everyday life - had she known she never would have said these things. I thanked him for the call but said it wasn't the call I had expected, he didn't say these thing so why should he say sorry!

Basically as it stands she isn't coming - but if I get a heart felt apology this may be revised or may not depending on what is said. Thank you all for your support and listening to my rant xx

kayren555  @midz my son is dyspraxic which is very mis-understood, he has no social awareness what so every (sometimes it is rather funny though) He is giving me away, and making a speech. I am terrified of his speech, but I wouldn't miss it. Your gorgeous daughter may 'melt' but she may surprise you too. The lady in question may well be ignorant, but there is still no need to say what she did. I would totally uninvite her and even if there was an apology from her, wouldnt re-invite her, I wouldn't trust her to not say something at the wedding. Be prepared though your wee girl may well steal the show from you xx

mrslopez2b  @misz I truly hope this lady does apologise herself.
I suppose a sad thing about some people is that they are ignorant of people who are a little 'different'.
Hopefully if she does apologise you will allow her to come and she will see for herself that being autistic doesn't mean that you are guaranteed to have a 'melt down' and she will begin to find out more about the situation itself as its easy to be ignorant when you have little knowledge on a subject. I'm not condoning what she said as that was very hurtful... hopefully she will actually in time see that all of your actions previously were to ensure that she had the perfect day and she will want the same for you.

I hope you have an incredible day! xxx

kookiebek  @midz I am a teacher and have worked with many children with specific needs and especially autism. I have had a meeting with one of the mums of an autistic boy in my class today who also has PDA and we were talking about how some people are so ignorant. They wouldn't be staring or making accusatory comments about a child missing a leg would they? So what gives them the right to comment in any way about a child with a need which isn't physical?! Just because you dont see it doesn't mean it isn't there!!!!!!
Dont worry about her being upset on the day, lots of social stories may help but aswell as that, I am sure there willbe people there who she knows and things they can do with her if it all gets a little much, I would give her an ultimatum (or better yet send her a flyer for an autism awareness course in your area as a clear point to her.) If she doesn't apologise asap then definitely uninvite her.
Sorry things like this really really wind me up.
Your day will be fantastic!
Actually just read the bit about your MIL-GO her!!!!!!

quoth_the_raven  This may have all been sorted by now, but I thought I'd add my righteous indignation and opinion to the mix anyway.

"I know she has been diagnosed with autism but she doesn't look any different from my girls"?!?! Meaning what, exactly?? If autism came with the odd side-effect of causing purple rabbit ears, what difference would that make to how well someone would cope in a wedding??! That's just bizarre. Totally bizarre. I mean, I can see all of what she said is just the product of someone who is both ignorant and opinionated - a combination that I consider to be a far more socially crippling condition than autism, I might add, but there we are - but that bit I just don't get. It doesn't actually make sense. It doesn't fit in with her point. Weird.

Aside from that, though... I'm so sorry you had to hear that, hun, and sorrier it happened in the first place. It sounds to me, like I say, that this woman is just the worst combination of wanting to have her say about everything, including things that don't concern her, and not actually knowing even half the facts before she opens her mouth. I'm not too surprised by her subsequent reaction, either - to keep arguing in the heat of the moment, and then afterwards once she's been given all the information and realised just what an awful thing to say it was, intense shame and sadness. Her husband calling on her behalf tallies with that. She's just found out she's a bitch. She's probably very upset, and too ashamed to come and speak to you herself. People who like to weigh in with the judgement, like she seems to, frequently don't take it very well when they find themselves firmly in the wrong.

Concerning inviting her, obviously don't even consider having her there until she's clasped you about the knees and wept on the floor at your feet to beg for your forgiveness, in the manner of an Ancient Greek suppliant. Also, I echo @kookiebek re: your MIL. If she does apologise, though, then ask yourself this, very carefully: you have 11 days to go. Will that be enough time that, if you see her there, you won't be angry or hurt on your wedding day? Because if the answer is no, then you can't invite her. It's that simple. You need to be happy on your day, and you can't let her jeopardise that.

I would also recommend spitting in her eye.

kookiebek  One of the best things oneof parents ever did was get their child a tee-shirt which read- 'My problem is Autism, whats yours?!' I think it would make people stop and think a bit more first!x