Wedding Top Table - who should I have on it?

fabulousfebruary  @lucyb12345 Tradition is a great thing sometimes, but in some ways it's daft to try and follow it when it has no meaning for you. Do what I'm doing for my top table, chuck the traditional book out the window, think who you would like to sit with and plan it from there. I feel the same way about my h2b's mum and dad so know what you mean. Your wedding is individual to you, there is no right and wrong. For instance, our top table is made up of our nearest and dearest friends. If you think your decision may upset someone talk to them beforehand. The most important thing is to not stress and sit with who you two want.

Good luck!

mrslightfoot  @lucyb12345 we're not following tradition with our top table, its just not feasible without looking like the mafia (on my side it'd b

mrslightfoot  ...be (sorry Damn mobile phone) me, my mum, my dad, my sister, her daughter, her new baby, her fella (can't separate either from the 10 day old), my younger cousin, and my chief bm. And them on his side there's him, his mum, his stepdad, his dad, his stepmum, his best man, and 3 users :-s
End of the day its your top table, you get to sit next to those who mean the most to you, screw tradition! It's completely unrealistic sometimes

nextmrstaylor  @lucyb12345 my hubby to be use to work in a hotel (lost his job just before christmas) as a night porter, setting up rooms for weddings etc, and once or twice he's seen the top table set up for just 2 people, the bride and groom. You could even have just 4 people, you and the groom and your chief bridesmaid and best man xx

portsmouthjen  I really wanted to do the table for two thing but hubbie said no
Like others have said, forget tradition and do what you like.

nextmrstaylor  @portsmouthjen I wouldnt go for it personally but its each to their own, luckily even though hubby to bes parents are no longer together (divorced when he was a child) they do get on, and my parents are still together after 36 years so that side of things is ok (h2b's mum does have a husband who we both get on with but im sure he would be happy sitting with other members of his mums family) i think the only part of the 'traditional' top table i would have is having the chief bridesmaid sit on the top table, im having me 3 sisters and h2b's cousin (though i've still not asked her) as bridemaids but can't decided who to have as chief bridesmaid so might not actually have one at all xx

lucyb12345  See i cant figure out how to do it, technically i have one bridesmaid and her daughter and my H2B has 5 people (mum, dad, best man and 2 ushers!) how do i make that look even on a table!

jen150912  @lucyb12345 Put everyones name on a post-it note, and play about with your placings - people don't have to be on h2b's or your 'side' of the table, so place them where you think it will look best. Tradition is great when there is a traditional bridal party - not everyone has that - so work with what you've got and make it your own xx

mrslightfoot  @lucyb12345 why don't you move an usher over to your side, once everyone's eaten he'll be up and socializing anyway

lucyb12345  Love the post it note idea, ill give that ago!

I worry that people will be thinking why is that top table not as it should be wheres her mum and dad, but o well!

missengaged  Have them sit where you feel comfortable hun! Don't worry what others will think! I'm sure everyone at the wedding is close to you anyway so wouldn't think anything of it!! How about having his Mum or Dad sat next to you then your cousin and her daughter, then the remaining on his side?!! That way it will be more even!!x

jen150912  @lucyb12345 Bugger what other ppl think! xx

futuremrsd  @lucyb12345 I would move the best man and/or ushers to your side to balance it. On our top table we're just having us, both sets of parents and two best men. Bridesmaids and usher are just sitting on tables as some have partners to sit with, etc and top table would be too long with everyone! We are splitting the best men to one at either end or otherwise the table won't be balanced and we won't be in the middle! I figure they can just stand up and one can move to join other when they do their speech! I agree with the others though, just have whoever you want on the top table and forget tradition! I know someone who didn't have a top table and they set all tables with two spare seats at them and moved round during the meal so they could sit at each table for a different course! They only had about 40 guests though so worked well- probably wouldn't work with 100 plus guests!

mrsl2b2012  @lucyb12345 We are not having a top table We are going to have round tables, ours will be in the middle with other tables around us. Didnt like the thought of a long table as we wouldn't be able to talk to everyone. Also Bestman and bridesmaids will be sitting with their partners, we will have my mum, dad and brother and H2b's Aunt, Mum, her partner at our table!! xx

mrscoops  we are going to have either a sweetheart table or more likely us two plus best man and bridesmaid, we are only having 50 people and we didnt want half of them on one long table (my parents are divorced and both remarried so would have meant having all of them) our room is only small so we are still able to speak to every table pretty easily and it means our parents each get to host a table. As others have said if your family isnt traditional forget tradition and just go with what feels right to you. Anyone that knows you (and they all should if they are at your wedding!) will know your history with parents etc and therefore you table setting will make sense to them anyway.xx

cicmatag  I read somewhere (can't remember where, might have been here lol) that a couple didn't have a traditional top table, they had their parents and chief bridesmaid and best man host their own tables and they (the couple) had their closest friends sit with them at the top table (which was identical to the rest of the tables). I think it's a good idea to avoid major bitch fits and people getting hurt etc. and it's especially useful if parents are divorced, re-married or don't get along. We're sticking with the traditional top table though, us and both sets of parents (both sets divorced years ago, h2b's dad has a new partner but she will probably sit with h2b's nan anyway)
At the end of the day it's your day, you can do whatever you want x

klt02  I had round tables too, and had me, groom, our little boy, best man, brother in law and his partner, my brother and my niece who was one of my flowergirls at our table. All other family were at the tables next to us.

its your choice, do whatever you are happy with x

kayren555  I am only having the bridal party on my top table. No parents at all. My son is giving me away so that solves the problem for me. It is totally up to you how you have your table, there is no strict rules stating you must do this you must do that. If you wanted just you hubby and your granmothers you could. xx

becky260512  We wont be having a seating plan (its a can of worms I didnt want to open!) and thought top table would be straightforward with me and hubby parents best man and bm's. I felt it would be too much to have all groomsmen on the top table, but my sister has kicked off saying she wont sit at top table unless her fiance can sit next to her ( she is bm and he is an usher).

I think you should have whoever you want. I really like the idea of having bridal party host a table you could name to tables after them too it means they feel special and you don't have to put up with them!!!

mrssteel2b  Im not having any bridesmaids on my top table. It will just be me and htb, my mum (dad passed away 2 years ago) htb's mum and dad, best man and our 2 gorgeous boys xx

wildlou  its so hard isent it brides. i think u should do wot ever u like. im sure people aint gonna think it looks odd. just happy that they r there 2 share ur day with u. im thinkin weather 2 have best man ushers nd bridesmaids all on 1 table or scatter them thru the tables so they r sittin with there friends! we have a daughter (well a 2 nd a half year old monkey sumtimes) nd r not sure how 2 work it 2 sit her. but traditions aint the law. just b happy